Member of the Month – Dana

dana

So, I used to suck….
Not that I couldn’t do great things, I just wouldn’t. Everyday activities like laughing, playing, living became overwhelming for me. Somedays I blamed the cancer for losing “Dana” others divorce, I’m sure if I really think back I must have had 100 theories to how such an ambitious, happy, outgoing girl became broken, but, honestly, I’d rather not think about it.
Looking back, it terrifies me, how comfortable I became with sadness. Constant depression haunted me. The days I didn’t break down into crying spells were few and far between. I drank, ALOT, I cried. I cursed the world. I hated myself.
After I stopped crossfitting the first time, it took me almost two years to get back into a gym. I would join a box and quit within weeks. It wasn’t that it was too hard or the work outs were scary, picking myself up off the ground was scary. Getting sober was scary. I walked into Anchor Crossfit twice within those two years and walked right back out before I even spoke to anyone.
I’m not sure where it changed, where I changed. One day I showed up for a WOD at Anchor and made it through the whole hour without breaking down, so I came back the next day, and the next day. Somewhere between terrifying WODS, gasping for air, praying for death, new PR’s and new friends I found Dana. Everything got better. I traded cigarettes and tequila for 6a.m. WODS. I took all that pain I was harboring and left in the box and I carried out with me a new confidence, a strength that expanded past the barbell straight into my subconscious. “I can’t” quickly became “I did”.
I am not the strongest girl. I’m definitely not the fastest one either, sometimes those WOD’s get the best of me. There will be tears, there will be failures, but I’ll be damned if I give up on me. I’ll never give up on me again.

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